Tuesday 19 May 2015

0 % Unemployment - The Danish Model

None of the knives in this blog post are owned by me (otherwise I could be jailed for writing this).

Denmark has just made its total population criminals. This effectively means that unemployment is over, as we should legally all turn ourselves in. Once we're all imprisoned (for refusing to pay the fine, or owning more than one folding knife), the few people left out can work keeping us in the (very full) prisons...

Suppose you own a knife like this one:
This is the knife "Pingu" from Ansø knives - a lovely knife that is made specifically to be legal to carry everywhere in Europe (according to the general guidelines for cabin luggage in planes, this knife is OK - link here). The blade is non-locking, almost impossible to open with one hand only and measures under 6 cm. from tip to the fulcrum.

But it is now illegal in Denmark - because I can do this:

That knife might be a bit of special knife, but maybe you own one of these (I don't ):
Yup, the wine-opener is a folding knife - and with practice it can be wielded one-handedly as well - making it illegal.

So despair not unemployed people - big mother Denmark will find a way!

To finish this short blog on how to avoid unemployment, I should add that as long as I don't bring it out clubbing, the following knife is perfectly legal (broken phone for scale - blade 35 cm):






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